Lady Gaga’s Monster came on shuffle the other day (not long after Kanye West’s Monster, incidentally) and it just seemed, well, a little one-sided. The singer accuses her target of being bad, evil, even though she admits to large gaps in her own memory. The story isn’t complete, the narrative is a bit too tidy. Therefore, in the spirit of Wicked, which retells the Wizard of Oz from the perspective of the witch, we guess at what someone else’s version of events might sound like.



It’s just Chris here this week, flying solo and filled with trepidation. See, I don’t know how you guys felt about Steve’s song Suburban home: sick blues last week, but I couldn’t get enough of it. And as silly as this will likely sound to Steve, it intimidated me into writer’s block. Not being able to compose anything new over the past seven days, I’m using up my second last “buffer song,” recorded in a flurry of creativity a few weeks ago along with Gambo, Your last mistake and Just like that.

I’m mixed on this tune. It started off with a tweet, a lyric that popped into my head that I really liked. I really like the feel of the chorus, with the pulsing synth and subtle call-and-answer between the vocals and the strings. And I like the simple 90’s guitar solo, even though there’s no excuse for how sloppy I played it. (Well, no excuse except for the fact that we have to pump out one of these every week. Which, come to think of it, is a pretty good excuse.) Oh, and I love Claire’s illustration, and want it on a shirt. I’m less confident of all the lyrics, of the over-all vibe.

I think I’m learning to not worry too much about that kind of thing, though. One of the most surprising things about this project so far has been the diversity of reaction to each song. Almost every week different people will tell me our latest is either their most or least favourite yet. Songs I’m really proud of have landed like duds (do duds land?), while songs I was almost embarrassed of receive positive reviews. So, there’s no predicting how any one song will go over, and everyone following along seems to be getting very different things out of each week. Here’s another one to throw against the wall and see if it sticks.

(I do hope you like it, though. No, not you. You.)


Don’t bring a hug to a kiss fight
We’re going all night
You’ve got a fierce bite

Stairwells and allies feel just right
It’s only for tonight
Be over by daylight

But some wires and lines
both got crossed and you’re finding
These reasons to blame it on me

She thinks that I’m a monster
But she doesn’t remember
We were in it together
If I call her she won’t answer

Don’t bring your crap to this piss hole
I’ve already been sold
I asked and I got told

Don’t play a player the same mold
You bluff and I will fold
You’re making me feel old with these

Immature games and your
lingerie name and I’d
do it all over again

She thinks that I’m a monster
But she doesn’t remember
We were in it together
If I call her she won’t answer

She thinks that I’m a monster
But she doesn’t remember
We were in it together
If I called her would she answer?

Don’t bring a hug to a kiss fight


Chris Tindal: Vocals, guitar, programmed keys, drums and bass, something else I’m forgetting.
Steve Salt: A winning smile
Words and music: Chris Tindal
Illustration: Claire Salloum